Talking of steroids (and other things)

I am now on my fourth course this year, oh the joys of severe asthma.

I started to notice the other day that things were most starting to slide, I was using my inhaler more and needing more puffs to get things under control. It amuses (and bamboozles) me that on the label it says "take two puffs as required, do not exceed the stated dose", that is 200mg, my nebuliser deliverers 25x that amount and I can take up to 2 back to back along with atrovent. Anyway it doesn't say how much time to leave between the 2 doses so I just work along the lines of 10 puffs, oh well that will 5 lots of 2 puffs so I am not exceeding the dose! Taking two puffs sometimes works but often in the words of my late and much loved grandma "its like giving a donkey one oat". My GP has also advised that I may use up to 10 puffs at a time.

Then I starting waking at night more than normal and became increasingly breathless and wheezy on exertion. I have a test for this, and carry it out by walking up the stairs to my flat the more wheezy/breathless I get the more trouble I am in, in case your wondering I don't spend the day confusing the neighbours by constantly walking up and down the stairs to my flat. By Monday night I was feeling pretty rough and my pf was dropping to around 65% of what it should be, not a massive drop but a drop no less and one that I could really feel.

I sat in my flat knowing what I needed to do, start a course of steroids but I toyed with the idea hoping that it would magically get better by itself which of course it didn't and wouldn't. My reluctance comes from the fact that I really don't enjoy being on steroids because of both their long and short term side effects. By Tuesday morning it was obvious I could put it off no longer and so I now on my usual dose for a few days, I see my GP tomorrow for a review.

In reference to my earlier post, three or four posts ago about the emotional impact that recent events have had on me I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that this is as good as I am going to get but, I realise at the same time I have never really come to terms with having polyarthalgia and osteoarthritis either which was formally diagnosed in November last year. I am taking a low dose of anti depressant again something I really didn't want to do because it feels like I am not coping as well as I should be but, I really think right now that its the best option for me as I seem to on a bit of an emotional roller coaster, again something I don't like. I am scared as to what the future holds, this in turn is having an impact on my Christian faith. How can I propose to trust God and have faith in Him when I am scared what the future might bring?

Yet there is much that it is positive in my life and much to look forward to and I need to keep a positive outlook in my life, I feel that it is both vital and important. For example the other day after yet another bad night I got up early to find the piggies screaming for breakfast, so I gave them a small amount of food, planning to give them the biggest percentage of their breakfast later and I popped a small cabbage leaf on Harries head, those who have met Harry will back me up when I say he's not the brightest piggy in the world, he sat there occasionally gently trying to move the cabbage leaf off his head, seemingly oblivious that it was in fact his breakfast was on his head, while I stood and giggled helplessly. It was only when, 5 minutes later his cage mate Sparky removed it did he figure out the fact it was food. Its the little things that make life so special. Next week I am meeting up with my wonderful and now "famous" friend B (watch this space)and helping out with a childrens treasure hunt. Here's hoping that non of the children have recently had chicken pox as it has the potential to be very serious illness for me if I catch it. I have much to be grateful for and much to live for, its just a case of finding a way of fitting it all into my life and finding a way out of this rut that I seem to of got myself stuck into.

On a final note I mentioned that my consultant had discharged me, that is not strictly true. I am an "sos" appointments system for 2 years, that is if I feel I need to see at some point in the next two year I can if I need to book an appointment.